A Letter To The Younger Me.

Dear Ijeoma,

Let me start by telling you how smart and beautiful you are (inside and out). I wanted to take the time out to congratulate you on starting school! I can see your face glowing with excitement. This is your first day of school!

Your hair is in pigtails, you have your favorite jean dress on and your smile is brighter than the sun (please don’t lose that smile)!

The doors open and your teacher welcomes you into the classroom. You begin playing the ‘name’ game to learn more about your classmates. You’re an extrovert so you’re really enjoying this game. She sends everyone off to play with the classroom toys.

You make your way to the blocks and eagerly find a seat on the ground next to Ashlee and Stacey. Although you feel their eyes probing on your delicate chocolate skin, you’ll smile, reintroduce yourself and you’ll naively reach for the blocks.

As you extend your hand, you hear Ashlee cry out ‘you’re are not allowed to play with the blocks’. Bewildered, you’ll ask why and she responds…‘because you’re black.’ You’ll accept that response and walk away.

Scared and confused, you begin searching the room for other black children who will ‘allow’ you to play with the toys. You hang your head low for a moment and recognize that you are the only black body in the classroom. Cautiously, you proceed to a different group of strangers.

Every so often, your peers will ask ill-mannered questions about your melanin shaded exterior. ‘Does it wash off in the shower?’ Rest assured my precious little Black Queen, you will be just fine. In time you will come to understand the gravity of what is transpiring. For now, be patient and wait my darling, I promise, things will become clearer for you.

At ten, you love learning so you’ll push yourself to get good grades. Like other kids, you want to be liked and luckily you’re able to make friends quickly. Along the way, you’ll come to understand that you cannot control who likes you, or whether or not Kimberly or Stacy want you at their party. You’ll make friends with the kids in your class that you truly have a connection with.

You are still the only black girl in your class, but you have incredible strength and you’ll continue to get stronger with every passing year. Your friends tell you their parents do not approve of their friendship with a black girl. So, unfortunately you’re no longer welcome at Mauren’s house and Tracey’s not allowed to meet you on the playground.

I see you’re hurt by this, Mauren after all, was your best friend. You begin to question your dark skin, you’ll get down on yourself and wish you could slip into a different, lighter skin because you don’t want to lose anymore friends.

I want you to know that your melanin skin is powerful and was created especially for Kings and Queens to withstand the harsh elements of the world. Ijeoma, please don’t question a thing, in time you will meet friends that accept you. Wait a little longer my dear, I promise, things will become clearer for you.

You’re in middle school now and although you may not be great at basketball, your coach builds you up, plays you often and allows you to play in the game. You befriend the girls on the team and now you’re a little more confident.

In the classroom, the lesson is about slavery. You happen to be the only black girl in a room surrounded by white faces again. I know it’s hard, but you hold your head high and patiently wait for their piercing eyes to refocus on the instructor. You will feel alone and misunderstood, but wait a little longer, I promise, things will become clearer for you.

At fourteen, you’ll meet other classmates that look like you and you begin to feel very confident, a little more beautiful, a little more like you. You’ve worked hard to make it on the volleyball team, and you become a star player once again amongst a sea of white faces.

After a great game, Ally’s mom will approach you in front of the entire team, grab you by the collar and accuse you of wearing her daughter’s ‘lucky’ jersey. You will be surprised by her rage, and you’ll try to explain how the jersey’s got mixed up. You feel violated and embarrassed and your coach declares that the situation has been handled. You will be down for a bit, but keep pressing on Ijeoma, and wait, wait a little longer, I promise, things will become clearer for you.

Congratulations! You got accepted into the school…of your parent’s choice. You’ve overcome some rough patches and you’re feeling stronger than ever. You’re doing okay in school, but you’d like some help with an extra hard course.

Sandy tells you that her advisor (who happens to be your advisor) provided her with helpful study materials. You thank her for the information and swiftly make an appointment with said advisor. When you get to the advisor’s office, she’ll tell you that you have everything you already need and she will not provide any additional study materials.

You’re not surprised but I can see you’re a little discouraged. Keep holding your head up Ijeoma, you’ll study extra hard and show them what you’re made of! Most of all, I want you to hang in there girl and just wait a little longer, I promise, things will become clearer for you.

Here we go, you’re finally in the BIG APPLE! So excited and I couldn’t be more proud of you! You’re really doing this adult thing. You’ve found your apartment and you’re working really hard at your new job.

Damn, I know you’re facing roadblocks again…I know what you’re thinking, but this time you’re prepared. You are so much stronger than they know. Some people may not appreciate you, others will try their hardest to tear you down, but you will rise anyway.

You cherish your dark, brown, sun-kissed skin. You are bold, powerful and unstoppable. You’ll go on to create a platform for your brothers and sisters and help millions of people share their Brown Skin Stories with the world! You have stepped into your calling and this is only the beginning!

Welcome to greatness Ijeoma, I see things have become clearer for you now.

– Ijeoma

P.S. If this letter resonates with your experience, I want to know! Comment below and share your story with us!